Descent to Dementia.

Mum’s confused…….                                           

We knew mum had started being a bit strange. She lived in Leeds, we lived 25 miles away near Pontefract. She started phoning us saying  

‘the T.Vs., gone off’ or, things like ‘the light won’t go on’.

I had to make the fifty-mile round trip to put the T.V., back on or, change a light bulb.

One day she phoned to say

‘the Post Office won’t give me my pension.’

Off I went to sort it out. When I got to the Post Office, the assistant explained that mum had been

‘in three times this week, she had already collected her pension’.

She did add

‘do you know your mum’s badly confused?

By this time, I had worked that out for myself.

When I returned mum’s Library books for her the Librarian said

‘I’m glad you’ve come in, I want to talk to you about your mum. Do you know how confused she is?’

She offered me an envelope with notes in it.

‘Your mum has only been using £10.00 notes as bookmarks! We’ve collected them all together’.

When I checked the envelope there was more than £100.00 in it. How kind they had been in keeping them for mum.

Something needed to be done, I had her medically checked over, enlisted the help of Social Services, both in Leeds and my local area. Once the diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease was confirmed, arrangements were made for her to live near me in a Pensioner bungalow. Privately, I worried she would not survive the move, she was 83 years old. She did. Her home in Leeds was opposite a Builders yard at one side of the street. Her living room was overlooked by the Conservative Club at the other. Her new home had a tree-lined street and farmer’s fields nearby. She took herself little walks to see them, giving her lots of pleasure.

Mum had attended the Methodist Church all her adult life, I contacted the nearest Methodist Church, where she was welcomed with open arms. They could not believe she was suffering from Dementia. She could read the Bible in a good clear voice, she sang hymns from memory. I realised then, how she was adept at hiding her condition. She would nod and smile when she was spoken to. I learned that with Alzheimer’ Disease, music is the last memory to go.

Three times a week she was picked up and taken on a tour around, picking up other pensioners, arriving at a Day Centre for a meal, after they did craft activities, making memory boxes,  and other small items. They were all taken home again, dropping off in reverse order. Mum thought that she had been taken

‘into the Yorkshire Dales, having a ‘nice meal’

in a hotel. She always commented on the lovely scenery. She never found out that Day Centre was only five minutes away from where she lived!

Other comic events that made us smile, if mum had not liked the sandwich that I, or the daily Carers made for her, she would hide them in the oven. I only discovered the discarded food when we ran out of plates and I had a hunt around for them.

One morning, I had lifted some bread out of the freezer, to thaw out for tea time. When I returned I couldn’t find the bread, I asked her, she replied ‘I don’t know what you did with the bread, its all wet. I’ve hung it out on the line to dry’.

When I looked out of the window, there was a row of slices of bread neatly pegged out on the line!

Other issues over the bread, she loved to feed the birds, often I would arrive to find no bread at all as she had fed the full loaf to the birds.

I would have to go to the shop and buy more before she could have her tea.

Mum did live happily in her bungalow for two and a half years, then she needed more care than I could give, she made one more move, into a nursing home, she was settled there, gaining weight from being able to eat in company. She died two and a half years later at the age of 88.

We were lucky mum was pleasant in her dementia, all who cared for her said she was a pleasure, always remembering her for the frequent 'please and thank you's.'

She was always grateful for what they did for her.